Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
