hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
