So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
