The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
