bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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