i think i have herpe
just one?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
