The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
