it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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