I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize