my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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