first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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