Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
