I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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