you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
