I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
