Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
too bad you live with your parents still
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
