No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
