yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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