So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
