If i come over, it means nothing
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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