What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
