lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i've created a new STD.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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