Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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