why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
