Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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