Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
