3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
