We won't sleep together?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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