I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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