***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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