got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
