my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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