when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
