Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize