Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  life is too short to starve

  (678): View more from Georgia

  life is also too short to be fat

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  (336): life is too short to starve (678): life is also too short to be fat http://tfl.nu/v94u
  Replies (6) Good night (2679) Bad night (1458)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.

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  (970): If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car. http://tfl.nu/glcf
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (3299)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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  (805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream." http://tfl.nu/w9nn
  Replies (11) Good night (4607) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.

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  (734): she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help. http://tfl.nu/iorj
  Replies (29) Good night (1546) Bad night (5216)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

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  (207): Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy http://tfl.nu/f2lx
  Replies (40) Good night (4880) Bad night (2183)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.

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  (210): hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober. http://tfl.nu/bh32
  Replies (11) Good night (3400) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4553) Bad night (943)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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  (902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.

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  (419): WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME. http://tfl.nu/mbtp
  Replies (11) Good night (1109) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

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  (781): i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens. http://tfl.nu/yex4
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure

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  (413): She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure http://tfl.nu/04x9
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?

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  (732): This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with? http://tfl.nu/hn5g
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (436)
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  (428): View more from

  Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

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  (428): Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale. http://tfl.nu/liut
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.

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  (720): I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver. http://tfl.nu/9cmy
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD

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  (604): All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD http://tfl.nu/xdt2
  Replies (5) Good night (601) Bad night (364)

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