Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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(574): pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face. http://tfl.nu/q45o

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

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(405): i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy. http://tfl.nu/1yd9

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(917): View more from New York City

I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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(917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef

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(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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(415): Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea. http://tfl.nu/bfzd

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(513): View more from Ohio

Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

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(513): Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this. http://tfl.nu/ipvr

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(270): View more from Kentucky

he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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(270): he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment. http://tfl.nu/tur1

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(916): View more from California

We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

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(916): We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench http://tfl.nu/ch9j

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(907): View more from Alaska

marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it

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(907): marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it http://tfl.nu/qmr1

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(734): View more from Michigan

i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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(734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17

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(361): View more from Texas

Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.

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(361): Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war. http://tfl.nu/2o17

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

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(+44): Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up http://tfl.nu/86tf

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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(248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt

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(660): View more from Missouri

The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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(660): The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment http://tfl.nu/9skg

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(503): View more from Oregon

THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT

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(503): THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT http://tfl.nu/3zvj

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(985): View more from Louisiana

He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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(985): He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed. http://tfl.nu/6hgc

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