Screwed.edu
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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