I cockslap morals
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
