Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.

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  (515): Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did. http://tfl.nu/9hm6
  Replies (8) Good night (3556) Bad night (601)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat

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  (412): I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat http://tfl.nu/4f5y
  Replies (6) Good night (3042) Bad night (770)
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  (650): View more from California

  Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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  (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy
  Replies (47) Good night (5090) Bad night (949)
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  (718): View more from New York

  im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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  (718): im getting my college education on yahoo answers. http://tfl.nu/sx90
  Replies (23) Good night (5369) Bad night (823)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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  (216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg
  Replies (21) Good night (4004) Bad night (1769)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

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  (802): Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable http://tfl.nu/50aw
  Replies (7) Good night (1191) Bad night (2593)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.

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  (865): I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does. http://tfl.nu/lzon
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (1234)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

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  (434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (388)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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  (315): My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero? http://tfl.nu/se5g
  Replies (5) Good night (1622) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man

  (1-714): View more from California

  you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife

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  (714): wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man (1-714): you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife http://tfl.nu/week
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (328)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn

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  (603): This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn http://tfl.nu/xvco
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (307)
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  (756): View more from

  i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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  (756): i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry http://tfl.nu/es94
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then

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  (860): You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island (1-860): Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then http://tfl.nu/u0l8
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?

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  (918): Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling? http://tfl.nu/vrr8
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (181)

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