im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway