2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
