I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
