Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
