he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
