East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
