It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
