# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize