I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
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