i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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