too bad you live with your parents still
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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