She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
