I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
