So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
