On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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