hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
