I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
