He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go