so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml