Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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