dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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