Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
