I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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