love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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