I think I won the penis lottery.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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