Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
