what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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