well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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