If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
