i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
