jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
