Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
