omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Who died my cat blue again?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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