just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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